When I was a kid I believed that Christmas was the most wonderful time of the year and that Santa could fix anything because he was magic then as I got older Santa was replaced with God but it came to the same thing eventually the magic wears off when you realize that no amount... Continue Reading →


it's 12:47 am and I am still awakelaying here eating a Nanaimo barthat I really don't want and sippinga decaf tea that is horrifying in itself,looking at the tequila bottle andwishing I had the will to drink it allwith a plastic straw *intentional shit stirring*tequila won't work and I know this like I know that... Continue Reading →

Sure, the configuration is pretty enough but it’s only the mask that I was born with. I don’t know what you see, only what I do and yes, I am aware that it’s not ugly but it is a burden to bear because no one understands that its just the clothes that I am forced... Continue Reading →

You told me you didn't want your words, What you said during that awful, cruel and Heartbreaking time to matter. To count against you and they didn’tI didn't forget them, however. I never did hold all those nasty things That you said to me against you. Even when you compared me to a wife That... Continue Reading →

It’s dead. There’s no coming back from that, barring some apocalyptic event. Dead is dead. The thing that makes you, You, vanishes, like smoke. You are here. Then you are not. Those of us left behind struggle to understand this concept. We can’t understand how we can see you, touch you one moment and the... Continue Reading →

The Gods of my Knowing Don't answer anymore I have nothing more to give Than the devotions So I've resorted to praying Not my kind of prayer But a more formative knowledge And still receive no response ©MelanieMcCurdie2019

It's the little things that I miss A smile that says I missed you A kiss hello that says HELLO The squeeze of a hand Dancing in the kitchen The giggles over stupidity Making out in the car Watching hockey in companionable silence Holding hands because you can The little things that mattered most. ©MelanieMcCurdie2019

It's so difficult to move forwardsitting here staring out the window at the sunshine and twitterpated birdsthinking that I’d rather be lost in a bottlestoned out of my treeasleep where nothing hurtsand I'm not sure ifI want to feel somethingor feel nothing because both are painfulI'm not alone but I ambecause my heart isn't into... Continue Reading →

“I’m so sorry.I keep forgetting he is gone.”Words that reverberateStick with me, clanging like a damn bellI can’t forget he is goneHow could anyone forget that he is gone?The world became a frozen wasteland that dayEverything changed, again.You keep forgetting that he is goneI can’t stop remembering ©MelanieMcCurdie2019

An amiable loverAlways waiting, patiently,Silently, it calls, though I resistUntil I can’t anymoreAn open armed greeting, The fire burns all the way downComforting as a broken hugBut I'd give it all for something moreThe warmth of a pair of willing armsTo be enclosed in a caring embraceWould be so much better than waking aloneWith a... Continue Reading →

5 shot showdownSundown brings stress Rather than sweet slumber, andAll I can do is sit, Sigh out of the window With my mind trying to Suicide itself on paperNothing heals the breathless void, The seduction of the Abyss that Threatens to swallow me wholeSometimes I wonder if living, If the effort to breathe,Is worth the... Continue Reading →

She's aware that she's not ugly, don't kid yourself;but because she has a pretty face,no one looks further than the mask that she's forced wear for everyone else She knows what you’re thinking - Why be bothered with a deeper well?Wasting time nurturing a thirst, when A quick drink at the edge of the Pool... Continue Reading →

I wish you could understand.There are not enough wordsNor are there emotions to explain it Or maybe I don't wish you couldInnocence is bliss, so they say Maybe, I'm tired of explaining and justifyingOf listening to people preach to me about lossAs though I know nothing of grief Maybe, I'm tired of being lonely day... Continue Reading →

All the stuff shoved abandoned to rust It's a subconscious junkhouse It's like a hoarder's paradise I'm lost in here, wandering, wondering Wondering why and mutterings  Lost like a meerkat in a maze Replaying the timeloops and dailies Asking question after question Of some omnipotent entity, diety And of course, there just are no fucking... Continue Reading →

How strong must I be? Watch the motherflockers run practically drooling to to kick me when I am down, and trust me, With every curb stomp, I can clearly see the Rowdy badass romp  that you call the Dance What a joke Yeah man, you're so cool Sitting there in your lily tightywhites Thinking you are some God Enjoying looking down your great pimpled nose at the fight like Caesar? Paint me a clown if you have the sack I'll wait, but know this -when you hesitate This broken human that You've choosen to use as a meatsack punching bag Will rise up with firey discontent and Knock your punk ass down From that ivory tower you live in ©MelanieMcCurdie2018

Sweet Recollections

“Your name tastes like spun sugar on my tongue,” She said with a smile that lit up her eyes The fireworks behind her made her glow My heart nearly exploded and then it did Until then, my whole world was a circus And I, the silly fool who stuck his head Deep in the lion’s... Continue Reading →

What's this … I changed? And what exactly do you know about change? This from someone who is still so tied to apron strings That you play frog to the command to jump every single time And from someone who has no right to ask you to do anything Oh sure, make everyone and anyone... Continue Reading →

Bipedal Crow

It’s a worn-out point of contention *sigh* I may not be the smartest beast on the block But even I can see dark feathers don’t hide tinsel Those fucking sparkles stand out like a neon sign As a breathing storage system masquerading as human I collect shiny things for review, be it literal or figurative... Continue Reading →

scar tissue

She said, "Tell me how a person goes on, after." I stared, dumbfounded and in disbelief, as she chuckled at my expression. I didn't find humour in her statement Snapping my response like a bullwhip "You just do, or you don't. A lot of days, you wish you didn't." I mused a moment, counting heartbeats... Continue Reading →

Land Mines Masquerading as Wildflowers

It's a consequential downfall To being open-hearted Passion in the field of war Makes pitfalls prominent It's no tiptoe through the land mines Masquerading as wildflowers At times it's more about maintaining silence Rather than slicing Gordian Knot Enter the fool and dance like hell But hell is no place for angels Feathers smolder like... Continue Reading →

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