I paid my tithe and I paid my time
and I paid my dues
I payed for my sins and
prayed for my soul
prayed for forgiveness
for sins I hadn’t committed yet
All because my ancestors
grandparents, my parents, did
because a man in a robe told me I should
I must, he said –
Now your head and pray for forgiveness
Pray for your sins to be washed away
Pray for your eternal reward
Pray to what?
Pray to a God that professed
His devotion in return for mine
For His Forgiveness
But stood idly watching
Floated by on His Heavenly Perch
Waiting while I suffered
Like some Silent Stalkery Saviour
While I pled and pleaded
Help me be a better person
Help him not be angry anymore
I don’t understand what I’m doing wrong
I know I deserve it but I don’t know why
Please don’t forsake me
God Please Make It Stop
I’ll pray harder
I’ll Do Better
I’ll do anything
The mindless begging
Became a realisation that
I am and was my own God
My own Saviour
Tomorrow is cutting day. Yup! I’m going under the knife!
Admittedly, I’m a dight nervous about some legalised lunatic armed with nasty ass tools and enough meds to knock Godzilla into the next dimension being anywhere near my nearly perfect physique. That was snarkasm, by the way, There’s nothing perfect about this physique and I’m good with that thanks.
I’m just kidding. My doctor, she is very sweet and actually quite gentle, but the fact remains. Nasty tool = not enough medicinal tequila in the world…. It is my intent to distract myself with a variance of artistic pursuits and filmatic offerings in an effort to keep myself distracted from said fact.
I will be out of commission for a short period of time, and as insulting as it is for my family to be giving praise to the Almighty for the gift, they have a point. A girl needs her beauty sleep and blah blah recovery blah blah blood sounds cool blah blah blah
You feel me?
So, beginning today, if you should need my attentions, and you really don’t want my full attention, the usual methods will suffice. I do intend to be playing my music at brain shattering levels when I am not sleeping or writing and this will necessitate some creative attention-getting skills.
I’m drunk and I’m pissed off about it. I also don’t care so I don’t know where that leaves us, except with me wishing there was more fucking tequila and sort of regretting smashing the shit out of my filter in self-defence and solidarity … mostly due to alcohol.
Yeah so the hell what if the wagon was moving when I fell off? it didn’t hurt a bit. I feel nothing and I like it this way. There is less chance of someone getting their feelings injured by my lack of care for anyone’s feelings but my own.
No one else gives a hot damn past their own desires, so why does it shock that I finally caught on? My heart may be dilapidated and my soul battered, but it still feels enough to know when I no longer matter enough to consider as anything more than a human doormat or stepping stone to the next best thing.
Fuck that noise. I may not be perfect but I’m worth it and a far sight more than those lame ass whiners who trap themselves in ivory towers and claim innocence while their horns glow.
I know what I am. I know why too. I also know that I am not sticking around to watch your world implode one more damned time then be obligated to listen to the endless bitching why why why. Waaahhh.
I don’t care why. I don’t want to hear lies and backtrack bullshit to protect your less than truthful conjecture.
I really expected more than the typical human crap. That’s my bad and a mistake I’ll not likely make again.
Watching this election from my post has me concerned on so many levels. It’s like watching a bad beauty pageant through a slot in the panic room door, and wondering which of the candidates is going to trip and explode. Bad whether the enforced steel doors are strong enough to withstand the blast.
Someone likened it to the pulling of a trigger, and both bullets were inferiorly manufactured. As you well know, these types of choices will often blow up in your face, whether you like it or not.
Point is, the die is cast. The deed is done. Fait d’accompli. No one said what comes next is appetising or any less than frightening. It absolutely is frightening, for everyone. But there is little to be done at this stage than to pull together and stop spewing hatred at each other.
You are all in it together, no matter who you voted for. As a country. As a people. This choice that was made is now a reality that must be lived with. Right or wrong. You have 4 years to make the best of it or prepare to make some changes in 2020.
It’s unfortunate, truly, that the electoral process has turned into a popularity contest full of posturing and grandiose promises that have no way of actually coming to fruition without driving the country’s resources further into the Hellmouth. And is it for the masses? No, it’s to benefit those who pull the strings behind the scenes.
Please, in the days ahead, think. Consider your words and actions before your fear and anger causes more heartache and animosity among people who should be able to love one another.
The work we do as independent artists of all types is a labour of love and not easy work at times. We do our level best to put out a decent product, given our own resource availability. It isn’t always simple or smooth. So when someone picks apart another’s work, as though they know better, it is insulting and frankly rude.
Constructive criticism is always appreciated. Most of us are realistic, and we know that our art is not for everyone. So, please, think before you speak, keep it constructive, or keep it to yourself.
It’s the Opiate of the masses.
Opinion seems to act as some sort of aphrodisiac, and media,
Media provides the soundtrack to the insanity.
It all makes us believe that if we
Kiss the ring on the hand of some pauper prince
If we commit ourselves to the real daemon
by believing in the falsehoodery
That somehow everything will be status quo.
Your grass marriage with reality
is really just a nest of lies
brought to you solely by your inability
to look past the mask into the
windowless soup of Society’s heart.
It’s disheartening to feel alone in a world full of people
Knowing that the black sheep is really juste a warrior
With a psychic avantage.
And that those with open minds remain the only
Armour that stands between the
Intentionally ignorant and those willing to see.
Someone asked me what I feel,
And to my own fault I responded
The only way that I know how.
Only Haywire live wire seemed apt.
It makes no sense, perhaps,
To anyone but me
But that’s what it feels like.
It’s as though my bones have been replaced
And the new ones simply vibrate
Until my teeth rattle.
It’s oppressive and I’m trapped
By unseen eyes that observe
Every step, every breath
Someone is always there and it’s no comfort
Nor replacement for flesh and blood.
It’s uneasy the way the world is imploding
and the people are discussing politics
Issues of no consequence.
Leaves me to wonder what happens
What to those of us awake
When it ends.
I despise Reaper, currently
That motherfucker is off
Polishing his bone or playing
Peeping Grim through some portal
Think you could stop rubbing one out
And do your damned job?
For once? Instead of dicking about?
I talk, for once, about my feelings
and you get angry, or tune me out
Or just flat out ignore
But hey, you love me right?
I can sit for hours and listen to
This and that about who and what
About everything under the sun
Until I start to discuss matters of
Somehow the conversation gets derailed
Back to you.
But hey, you love me right?
I’m struggling. Badly.
So much on my mind that I’m lost
And I have nowhere to turn.
There’s no one around that doesn’t
Appear to view me as a tool.
But hey, you love me right?
Reasons why I am not allowed out:
This is from a real convo, between two people that love and respect each other. One of us is a might more on the religious side…
This is me…
“But again how do we know that Jesus was perfect? He was human, and there is historical evidence to support this. Also, there are those years of his life that are missing from all bibles. He could’ve been out there swinging his sheepherder’s hook at every single woman or married woman that he encountered, for all we know.
We don’t know what happened. The bible was interpreted by man, written by men; but let’s look at it this way. Seeing as that He was human, the reality is that he, during those 15+ years, was probably out there doing some less than prophet type stuff….what… I don’t know what a prophet does all day. No one can say that THEY don’t have certain things they wish they could hide…”
Thankfully, she loves me 😊 and laughed ❤️ before responding …
Fuck, why must you be such a dick?
If buzzkill had a finger, it’d be pointed in your general vicinity
Is it so difficult to be a little less self aware, maybe?
Screw your thinly veiled, venomous barbs
I’m hanging out in drown town tonight
Let my sorrows sink or whatever
I’ll smother the mothersuckers.
Or if I must, I’ll hotbox the cabin
Leave ’em breathless and watch them fly away