Dressed in my best casual “I barely care wear,” I, the perpetual wallflower, do what I do best I decorate the bleachers with all the other grapes dying on the vine. Some are small, grown sour and bitter, while others are soft and complacent, nearly dead but clinging to hope. Still others, the rare ones... Continue Reading →

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I know that you loved me and that you did to the last breath in your body. I know it like I know that if I throw myself from A 13th floor balcony that what you loved would beNothing more than a splatter stain on the pavement. That's how I can live with the fact... Continue Reading →

It’s dead. There’s no coming back from that, barring some apocalyptic event. Dead is dead. The thing that makes you, You, vanishes, like smoke. You are here. Then you are not. Those of us left behind struggle to understand this concept. We can’t understand how we can see you, touch you one moment and the... Continue Reading →

You left me.Even before I got on the plane, I know now it was the booze.Your ever-present mistress. Maybe I was the mistress, andyou were cheating with meon your true love, Alcohol. Oh, I know,She's inviting andwarm and always there She takes away all the pain,but she is a whore. You must pay before you... Continue Reading →

I stopped wearing your ring It seems redundant, to me, Today, as I sit here alone before your ashes Instead off wrapped in your arms To wear them like the celebration  That our love once was When you are gone  ©MelanieMcCurdie2019

The sky was bluer then, when we were kids, and everything seemed bigger, like anything was possible.  We flew like the birds on our bikes down the dusty lanes of town, hooting and hollering like wild-boys on the full moon.  We met our friends at the mall and hung out at Klingman's Taste Supreme and... Continue Reading →

The Gods of my Knowing Don't answer anymore I have nothing more to give Than the devotions So I've resorted to praying Not my kind of prayer But a more formative knowledge And still receive no response ©MelanieMcCurdie2019

It's the little things that I miss A smile that says I missed you A kiss hello that says HELLO The squeeze of a hand Dancing in the kitchen The giggles over stupidity Making out in the car Watching hockey in companionable silence Holding hands because you can The little things that mattered most. ©MelanieMcCurdie2019

It's so difficult to move forwardsitting here staring out the window at the sunshine and twitterpated birdsthinking that I’d rather be lost in a bottlestoned out of my treeasleep where nothing hurtsand I'm not sure ifI want to feel somethingor feel nothing because both are painfulI'm not alone but I ambecause my heart isn't into... Continue Reading →

“I’m so sorry.I keep forgetting he is gone.”Words that reverberateStick with me, clanging like a damn bellI can’t forget he is goneHow could anyone forget that he is gone?The world became a frozen wasteland that dayEverything changed, again.You keep forgetting that he is goneI can’t stop remembering ©MelanieMcCurdie2019

An amiable loverAlways waiting, patiently,Silently, it calls, though I resistUntil I can’t anymoreAn open armed greeting, The fire burns all the way downComforting as a broken hugBut I'd give it all for something moreThe warmth of a pair of willing armsTo be enclosed in a caring embraceWould be so much better than waking aloneWith a... Continue Reading →

5 shot showdownSundown brings stress Rather than sweet slumber, andAll I can do is sit, Sigh out of the window With my mind trying to Suicide itself on paperNothing heals the breathless void, The seduction of the Abyss that Threatens to swallow me wholeSometimes I wonder if living, If the effort to breathe,Is worth the... Continue Reading →

She's aware that she's not ugly, don't kid yourself;but because she has a pretty face,no one looks further than the mask that she's forced wear for everyone else She knows what you’re thinking - Why be bothered with a deeper well?Wasting time nurturing a thirst, when A quick drink at the edge of the Pool... Continue Reading →

I wish you could understand.There are not enough wordsNor are there emotions to explain it Or maybe I don't wish you couldInnocence is bliss, so they say Maybe, I'm tired of explaining and justifyingOf listening to people preach to me about lossAs though I know nothing of grief Maybe, I'm tired of being lonely day... Continue Reading →

Jackson’s daughter loved Frozen and at age 4, could recite every single word to that stupid movie about an enchanted whiner who couldn’t deal with her shit and froze everything’s script including the snowman. He liked Olaf in spite of himself.  The reindeer too.  The fact that Opal knew every single wasn’t the worst of... Continue Reading →

The snow is falling, lightly, little flakes of lace and ice.  There is no more grass, only a thickening blanket that looks pretty, but is as frozen as the air.  She sits primly in a chair, with a steaming cup of tea nearby, staring out the window at the eternity of white, wondering about nothing... Continue Reading →

I hit him. I balled up my fist and hit him square in the sniffer. I've always said that if I had the chance,  if I were ever in the perfect time and at the perfect place, I would punch Billy Sharp just once and make it count for everything.  It didn't happen that way, though,... Continue Reading →

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What follows is an excerpt from my upcoming novel, The Monster in Number 4, coming to eBook and Paperback in 2019.   The day had been slow, monotonous to the point that he wanted to roll down the windows of the elderly Caprice and scream at the drivers around him.  They'd rescued a cat from a... Continue Reading →

Midnight has passed and the moon is just a sliver in the sky above her.  At Glory Nobel's feet, a man lays naked and unconscious, and she nudges his still toned ass with the tip of her bare foot. Once upon a time, Theo had brought her here, and she fell to his romantic gestures and... Continue Reading →

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