it's 12:47 am and I am still awakelaying here eating a Nanaimo barthat I really don't want and sippinga decaf tea that is horrifying in itself,looking at the tequila bottle andwishing I had the will to drink it allwith a plastic straw *intentional shit stirring*tequila won't work and I know this like I know that... Continue Reading →

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You told me you didn't want your words, What you said during that awful, cruel and Heartbreaking time to matter. To count against you and they didn’tI didn't forget them, however. I never did hold all those nasty things That you said to me against you. Even when you compared me to a wife That... Continue Reading →

I know that you loved me and that you did to the last breath in your body. I know it like I know that if I throw myself from A 13th floor balcony that what you loved would beNothing more than a splatter stain on the pavement. That's how I can live with the fact... Continue Reading →

It’s dead. There’s no coming back from that, barring some apocalyptic event. Dead is dead. The thing that makes you, You, vanishes, like smoke. You are here. Then you are not. Those of us left behind struggle to understand this concept. We can’t understand how we can see you, touch you one moment and the... Continue Reading →

You left me.Even before I got on the plane, I know now it was the booze.Your ever-present mistress. Maybe I was the mistress, andyou were cheating with meon your true love, Alcohol. Oh, I know,She's inviting andwarm and always there She takes away all the pain,but she is a whore. You must pay before you... Continue Reading →

I stopped wearing your ring It seems redundant, to me, Today, as I sit here alone before your ashes Instead off wrapped in your arms To wear them like the celebration  That our love once was When you are gone  ©MelanieMcCurdie2019

It's the little things that I miss A smile that says I missed you A kiss hello that says HELLO The squeeze of a hand Dancing in the kitchen The giggles over stupidity Making out in the car Watching hockey in companionable silence Holding hands because you can The little things that mattered most. ©MelanieMcCurdie2019

It's so difficult to move forwardsitting here staring out the window at the sunshine and twitterpated birdsthinking that I’d rather be lost in a bottlestoned out of my treeasleep where nothing hurtsand I'm not sure ifI want to feel somethingor feel nothing because both are painfulI'm not alone but I ambecause my heart isn't into... Continue Reading →

“I’m so sorry.I keep forgetting he is gone.”Words that reverberateStick with me, clanging like a damn bellI can’t forget he is goneHow could anyone forget that he is gone?The world became a frozen wasteland that dayEverything changed, again.You keep forgetting that he is goneI can’t stop remembering ©MelanieMcCurdie2019

You know how there's this theory that you'd be blown away by the blast from disruption in the space/time continuum? That's what sudden loss is like. But it's not theory. It's reality. It happens, as it would, to anyone who has just had their entire world implode around them. A literal crumble and destruction of... Continue Reading →

All the stuff shoved abandoned to rust It's a subconscious junkhouse It's like a hoarder's paradise I'm lost in here, wandering, wondering Wondering why and mutterings  Lost like a meerkat in a maze Replaying the timeloops and dailies Asking question after question Of some omnipotent entity, diety And of course, there just are no fucking... Continue Reading →

How strong must I be? Watch the motherflockers run practically drooling to to kick me when I am down, and trust me, With every curb stomp, I can clearly see the Rowdy badass romp  that you call the Dance What a joke Yeah man, you're so cool Sitting there in your lily tightywhites Thinking you are some God Enjoying looking down your great pimpled nose at the fight like Caesar? Paint me a clown if you have the sack I'll wait, but know this -when you hesitate This broken human that You've choosen to use as a meatsack punching bag Will rise up with firey discontent and Knock your punk ass down From that ivory tower you live in ©MelanieMcCurdie2018

scar tissue

She said, "Tell me how a person goes on, after." I stared, dumbfounded and in disbelief, as she chuckled at my expression. I didn't find humour in her statement Snapping my response like a bullwhip "You just do, or you don't. A lot of days, you wish you didn't." I mused a moment, counting heartbeats... Continue Reading →

JiGsAw hEaRt

When the thunder rolls I'm so damned lonely What I really need Is someone to hold Until I can find The silver lining And I can breathe again The snow is falling Like the blind hits, They just keeps coming Grief is always there The past keeps calling Reminds me of you The pain I... Continue Reading →

Sweet as a Summer Dream

Sweet as a summer dream, One that wakes me in a sheen of sweat Your name on my lips is as arousing As the love light that fills your eyes When I squeeze you tight to my chest From my lips to yours, Love, you are Mine My Raison d’Etre ©MelanieMcCurdie2017

Cologne

It’s getting late, the moon high in the sky So am I, but not so much that I don’t feel his weight on the bed, so familiar that I time my breath exhaling the soft sigh of relief as he lies down behind me the scent of that horrible cologne that I would endlessly tease... Continue Reading →

THIS IS NOT HAPPENING – YOU DID NOT PROVOKE ME TO LOVE AGAIN AND LEAVE YOU DID NOT MAKE ME LOVE YOU AND PROMISE ME FOREVER THEN LEAVE ME TO DROWN IN THE REALITY OF LIVING A LIFE WITHOUT YOU - THIS CANNOT BE REAL NOT WHEN WE WERE SO CLOSE TO OUR HAPPILY EVER... Continue Reading →

Lately I feel like I've become a burden No matter how often I get told I hear people talking and still - I'm not that difficult to be around self centred enough to want to talk about me for a change maybe how my day is or how’s the weather I feel like I've been... Continue Reading →

Thomas Taylor Davis https://bit.ly/2JQ4W5G I lost him on the 9th of July; I lost contact, although I tried and tried to raise him, I couldn’t reach him, and on the 10th, we all lost him. Many of you don’t know Tom the way I do, and that’s a good thing. It means I can open... Continue Reading →

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