It’s a sleepless struggle

I’m tired, and I cannot do more than pace,
the bed calls me, but all I’m able to do is
walk in agony, battle-sore from the war in my heart

Being awake and lonely,
alone in a place I hardly recognise
away from the one who knows me best

The pain makes me vulnerable,
especially when time grows short and
the world is so quiet

It’s too quiet and too dark
I’d sell my soul to be able to rest
if I had it with me but the Love of my Lives
He has custody over it and
he holds my heart safely, at home

I’d give anything to be able to
write down the terrible things Muse shows me but
my fingers are stiff and atrophied

I can’t hear over the screaming of my joints
I’m too scared to close my eyes
lest I lose the thread, and I’m helpless to fight

Sleepless – it feels like its been days
I haven’t rested well since the night I left
The night was short but full of love

Now I ache, and I lurk in the shadowy corners and
in the not so sinister doorways, hoping for a break

Hopefully one that doesn’t include my mind or my limbs

©MelanieMcCurdie2018

Coming soon to eBook and paperback
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