The Back-burner Yawp

You know,

All this magnificent mess before you,

Beauty by My Eyes Bloody Well Ache…

Remember me?

That brilliant bitch that resembles who I was?

 

It’s tough on me too

It’s hard on ME, too

Did you realise, that

I’m getting hit from all sides?

Forever explaining and justifying

Swallowing my hurt and lonely

 

Needy ass whiny bitch

Yeah yeah don’t remind me

Emotions are a waste of time

Specifically when the only voice 

That can be heard is the Poor Me Opus

 

Don’t tell me to stop like it matters at all.

This how I punish myself

I beat myself for failing

Until I’m just tired of being tired

And sick of bleeding

 

Until I want that what’s in that bottle

More then eating the self loathing

Maybe, I want to feel something burn

Other than my eyes

 

Yes. I know it’s hard to remember

Things like, I’m a person.

I feel all this awkward weirdness

Lonely worthless bullshit, too

 

All of this is hard for me,

How bout a thought about that?

I hurt too.

 

I admit that I’m an asshole.

Again. And again. With my dying breath

If that would make you happy –

What more do you want me to do?

 

©MelanieMcCurdie2017

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