You don’t get it
being trapped in your head
and trapped in your mind
all corridors and no exits
nothing but hallways and corners
with no safe place to hide
from the monsters inside me
they induce fear and prison
all my life since then stolen away
like treasure by pirates yo ho Ho but there is no rum
just poison that drips from lips
laced in false truths and honest lies
like it’ll never happen again
and I love you
and please don’t leave
then its better
until it’s hell
until the fists
until the wishes for death
you’re drowning in brimstone
freezing alone
with no fire left in you
but by some miracle
an ember survives
or I’m too too stupid to know
that I died long ago
when my expression was taken
I ache to create
put my fingers on cool keys
gentle ivories
let it flow like magic
water into a desiccated soul
it hurts to miss the soundscapes
the release of the notes
a thirst never quenched
it just coughs dust and regret
while I die without an outlet to scream
or a prescience of presence
in a trusted heart that judges not
just listens to the inane
insane babblings of a lost heart
that’s tired of wandering

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©MelanieMcCurdie2016

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