Some of the poem below was published as a collaboration originally . As I’m quite partial to the words I chose to rework and rerelease the original Enjoy
Because I love you, I whisper through the hole of my hands to where you sit drowning. Drowning in tears of self-pity while attempting to run your fingers across the strings of my heart and finding them snapped, rusted and my heart dead and rotted.
You cry out in shock and despair at my disaffected stare, my severing smile and you, you trapped in body inside the that amaroidal hell, trapped in my Hell, the halls in shameful disrepair, so is the flesh that was my heart. And it’s your fault.
All that remains are faces, names, the souvenirs in jagged-edged photographs. In charred frames that line the condemned and diseased passages; the walls alive with blowflies that shift in a death dance, that shivers in a rippling, buzzing wave.
The blood on my hands. Blood on everything. Your scent, it lingers on my clothes, the ones I still wear. The memories, they sting and I rage, scream, at how easy it was for you; how goddamned easy it was for you to say goodbye, and not tell me. You were already gone before the words found their way home and now. Now. Now you are home and you will never leave here or me again.
I finger the dry matches in the package. The dry tips vaguely scented with cheap whiskey and back room sex They came from the pool hall. That fucking dive where you work, spending your talent on lowlifes and prostituting our love every time you spread your legs for some stranger at closing time.
I blow you a kiss, though the sinus gouging smell irritates my eyes. I can only imagine how this feels for you, having spent all day soaking in it. I blow you a kiss and I tell you goodbye. When you plead to know why I whisper because I love you while striking the match. Watch it burst into flame in the windless afternoon and drop it down the hole. The small hole in the top of the barrel of gasoline that you’ve been sitting in all day. You are thoroughly marinated now.
Hurry away as the lid blows off and you gurgle and yodel as you burn. Turning back to watch you rise from the fire like a residual Phoenix, arms to the sky as you scream and your pretty hair sizzles. Turn away as your blackened corpse crumbles back into the barrel with sorrow. All because I loved you.