If You Only Knew

dark_governess_rivers_of_grueIf you only knew
The thousands of days
That see me older
Harder and colder
A poor facsimile of humanity
Barely human at all

If you only knew
How often I count the words
That came out wrong
Each little barb that stung
Each cut of the tongue
Every word designed to injure

If you only knew
How I lie awake at night
Listening to the silence scream
Feeling alone and unnecessary
Unloved and unwanted
As I lose my self in my own world


If you only knew
How I plot and scheme
Planning for your Scythefall
The day that you fall to your knees
To beg for mercy
To beg for death
For both come to the same

If you only knew
The love I have in my heart
How I lock it away
Never to see the light of day
To unleash it would be a flood
A massacre of life

If you only knew
I would gladly
Rip out my beating heart
Hand it to you with dripping hands
If it was what you wished
Were it required for your happiness


If you only knew
I regret nothing
You helped me to live
Learn my lessons
See the light within the Dark
To imbibe the nectar of your Soul

If you only knew
The lonely sound
Of my mind since you’ve withdrawn
Since you’ve gone from me
It drives me to hateful tears
To distraction

If you only knew
How I cry for clarity
From my lonely bed
Weeping silently my dismay
Away from prying eyes
Scornful hearts


If you only knew
The loneliness I feel
How the bravest face
Hides the pain
Stems the tears
I’m just fine

If you only knew
How it doesn’t matter
It doesn’t, true
This is my chance to fly
My chance to become
What I see in the mirror
If you only knew….

Death Maiden



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In Darkness & Fire  http://wordpress.com/read/blog/id/62566380/

Buy C William Giles amazing book Of Tortured Faustian Slumber here



5 thoughts on “If You Only Knew

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  1. Oh Mel, that was just so truthful to me! I felt every line, going through some stuff also! I love your writing, I love the dark stuff, I love DM so much, and I love this!! You are a talented force to be reckoned with!! I’m glad to be able to call you my friend, my sister! BRAVO!! Xoxo

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